Friday, August 1, 2014

How to Instagram a Sleepy Kitten

Step One
Realize it isn't everyday a kitten decides to make your arm its bedmate. Soak in the cuteness for a few moments. (Look at its liddow eyeees!) Promptly decide to exploit its cuteness for personal gain.

Step Two
In desperate whispers, ask your boyfriend to retrieve your phone and take some grainy iPhone pics. Pose in a position of feigned sleep. Briefly consider the caption, "taking a quick cat nap!"

Step Three
Of course you weren't happy with the first pic. Your chest is doing weird things. You can barely even tell that it's a kitten next to you.

Ask your ever-patient bf for another picture. "More aerial, please."

Step Four
That last one was...better? Ditch the boyfriend and take matters into your own hands. No more fake sleeping, it's time to fall back on the classic selfie.

But wait, what's this? Oh for goodness sakes...

You cut off the kitty, and you're doing a creepy stare-down with the camera. And NEITHER OF YOU WILL FIT INTO AN INSTAGRAM SQUARE

Step Five
The kitty has relocated to your right calf for further snuggling. Okay this is it. No more selfies with the cat. You were never the star of this show. This instagram is going to be ALL about dat cat.

You snap a pic, but kitty's eyes keep opening and closing sleepily:

Step Six
Pet that little sucker into a blissful, comatose state.

As you pet, the hashtag "#yesallcats" comes to mind. It makes absolutely no sense.
Resolve to work it into the final caption anyway.

Step Seven
The kitty is happier, sleepier, and, most importantly, cuter than ever.

You've earned this pic.

Step Eight
Since you're sleepy now too, you decide to post it in the morning.
(Thank God for hashtag latergram.)

Step Nine
Completely forget to instagram it the next morning.

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